Closure

While the class may have been called “English,” Mrs. Metzger used its curriculum of great literature to teach us how to write, how to understand and engage in abstraction, and how to think for ourselves. In honor of the life of Margaret Metzger, one of my most influential teachers, I am posting a Closure ritual she taught students at the end of senior year at Brookline High. She focused the ritual on mining the depths of our transition out of high school, a major coming of age moment, but she also emphasized the need for healthy closure throughout our lives. From breakups to cast parties to New Years Eve, I’ve found these steps beautifully helpful, but for those of us who are always moving into and out of creative projects, it also feels like an important career skill, necessary for smoothing out the highs and lows of our transition between gigs. No, you can't always run the ritual literally in a professional environment – though in theater you often can! – but you can find ways to process it yourself.

Notes from Senior Year English, 5/12/94

The steps are:

• Think About It
• Plan ahead for the closure ritual. Invite the participants. Make sure proper time is set aside by all. Plan a location that allows for honesty. Put someone in charge of moderating.
• Deal with Red Tape
• Get logistics out of the way. Does anyone owe money? Anyone have something they need to return? Deal with all of that and get it done.
• Ask about Unfinished Business
• Is there anything this group wanted to achieve but did not? Can it be done? If so, do it, or make a concrete plan to do so. Or, as is often the case, should it be let go? Make the choice, don’t just let it fade away.
• Ask the Unasked Questions
• Give everyone the opportunity to ask the things they’ve wanted to ask of each other and of the group, including the tough stuff. Key: this is not a time for discussion, argument, or iteration. Each person gets the questions off their chest. Nobody is obligated to answer, and if an answer is given, the person asking has to accept that answer, not kick off a debate. (This is why you need a moderator.)
• Share Your Experience
• Everyone shares how they felt about the experience and what it brought them. Give a sense of the future: what can you hold on to from the experience?
• Celebrate
• !
• Say Goodbye and Let Other People Say Goodbye to You
• Let Go & Consciously Make Room in Your Life/Heart
• Walk Out, Close the Door, & Be Sad
• Give Thanks for Being Sad
• This is the most often forgotten, I’ve found. It’s a gift to have had an experience worthy of missing it. Be thankful for that.